Nothing much. I'm bored.

Hello good chaps.

I woke up early today to get my good dose of daily entertainment, and to my dismay, our good friend monster has closed down her blog. Let us all have a minute of silence now for this great loss.

Okay minute over. Now, if any of you are still wondering, the reason why the blog was closed down probably involves me and a purple dinosaur who had nothing to do at arnd 2 am last nite. So, we proceeded to tag her board with lyrics of our fave song, Forever by Drake, Kanye West, Lil Wayne and Eminem. Dunno the song? Go Google it. Trust me its good.

So we spent the better part of a half hour filling up the board with lyrics and we had a good time doing it. But anyways, I apologised If I caused your fave source of entertainment to get shut down. Don't worry, she'll be back, nastier then ever. Bye for now.

Adios Muchachos.

I'm back.

Long hiatus bitches.

Hello. Well, I haven't written on this space in a while. Actually its been months. Ya'll miss me? I know you did. Can see it on your faces.

So, the reason I haven't been writing for so long is because I ran out of things to say. You people stopped doin things for me to write bout. But now, well as u all know, many things have happened, and damn that shit's got me itching to write again. Boy do I have lots to talk about.

As I was writing this, I was thinking bout what I 'd talk bout today. I decided on a person whom we all know and (some more than others)love:MONSTER! Excited much?

Well, so many things have been going on concerning her. What with her bailing on her project group, to the countless men she talks bout. It has always made me wonder though what ordinary malay guys saw in fat malay women. Then, one day,Arab told me bout an interesting theory she heard. Apparently, malay men who go for these malay women packin all that junk in the trunk and with the huge racks just want some Tender Loving Care. They all wear that invisible sign that reads

LOOKIN FOR SOME LOVIN.

Yeah, imagine somethin like that bein pasted on all their heads. Apparently, they like plus sized women cos their "assets" are nice for being cuddled in. When I heard this, all I could think was that malay guys now have problems buying nice lounge chairs on higher purchase so they go for the much cheaper option of our friend Monster. Pretty creative huh? I still find it rely funny though. Just imagine, some malay guy cuddling up to monster's huge chest. Or rather being smothered by it. I guess the image speaks for itself. If that ain't amusing enough, replace that imaginary malay guy with someone you know. That should do the trick.

So adding to all that, she has suicidal thoughts, what with thinking that she's society's reject. That sounds partly entertaining and partly worthy of my pity. Partly. I'm human too.

She also thinks that her classmates do not hang out with her cos she's fat, ugly, and poor and that we only allow thin, good-looking, or rich people to hang out with us. I don't completely deny that statement. She is fat. I think my blog has made that clear by now. But, its a lil wrong to say that we're discriminatory in choosing who hangs with us. C'mon, hasn' it occured to you by now that its cos of your lousy ass attitude we don't hang with you. Get that thru to that thick fuckin skull of yours. We try to be friendly, but you don't pay it back.

Well, I think its time to stop getting personal. That shit just ain't entertaining, right people?

But I know this is:

Funny shit. Anyone interested? Buy it in bulk and you'll get a discount. It'll feel just like you going at it with Darth Vader. Funny shit.

Well, thats all for now. Will be back soon.

Adios Muchachos.

The girl who went bxtch.........(Part 2)

Welcome back peeps, for part two of the girl who went bxtch. First of all, gd morning. Its about 10 rite now. Okay, back to business. So when I last left u guys, I talked about her flings, for want of a better term. And yes, its more than 1. So, lemme enlighten you guys and gals on this particularly interesting area of her life.


Lets start of with boys she's gone after. At least those i know of. Juz imagine, four guys in what? 2-3 months? This girl a bit overambitious huh? There's me and 3 other guys. The funny thing is, 2 of those guys are already in very steady relationships and i am sure the last fxcking thing they'd wanna do is two time their girlfriends, especially with a fxgly bxtch like her. So well, both of em ignored her. The other guy, who' single and a good friend of mine. He ended up ignoring her as well, thinkin she rely was a pesky bxtch. So finally came me. Well, that was a pretty embarrassing time of my life. When I look back, I wonder just what the fxck I was thinkin. Bt then again, I nvr had any romantic intentions. I was just makin a monster laugh. Haiz....


Next up, her fxcked up attitude. Oh yes, she does have one, although its hidden. So, dont blame ureselves if u cant see it. Its just hidden, beneath those multiple layers of skin, muscle, and FAT!!!!!!!!! So dont be deceived by appearances. Cos underneath everything, she's a cold hard(and dont forget fat!) bxtch. Oh ya, I'm nt even gonna bother explaning myself. If u wanna know, feel free to contact me at 1800-JewBoy. XD


So, I think i've made myself clear about this bxtch. Is there anything really more to say?

Well maybe a sorry for takin so long to publish this. Been feeling a lil dry lately.

Adios muchachos.

The girl who went bxtch......(Part 1)

Hello people, how ya doin? Sorry for da late post. Been busy. Projects and stuff. You guys understand right? Ok, lets get down to business since I'm done sucking up to you guys. Haha.

Well, having a blog like this was not as easy as initially thought. Who knew comedy was bein an ass? But, I've got something new for you guys this today. Or tonite, whenever the fuck your reading this.Its about a certain someone I know. In fact its about a certain someone a bunch of you know as well. The title of this post should give you a clue.

Due to comments from my readers(you know who you people are), I shall not be naming her. Yes people its a girl. But I think I would be insulting her enough without actually using her name. Besides, I'm gonna be using pictures anyways. XD

So, lets get down to it shall we? As i mentioned, there is this girl. We all know her name. But for privacy's sake( fuck that shit), we shall call her monster. Here is a pic of monster:

(Btw, her name is not rosie..)

Well, dats definitely not a real pic of her. She makes da monster look hot. Its a good visual representation though. I don't think im'ma put it in though. Well, not at tis moment anyways. Bt hey, if i'm nt gonna put in da real thing, i can assure u people a damn funny replacement.

Okay, back to monster. Well, she sure does look like a monster don't she. Thkz to google images for dat pic. Anyways, monster was a nickname i gave this particular female. Not to be sexist or anythin, bt yeah she's a girl. I call da guys i noe worse names. As far as i can remember, thats da only nickname I ever gave her. Of course she doesnt noe that i gave her that nickname. There are a bunch of reasons for this.


One of which, is da fact that she actually has romantic feelings for me. Oh fuck, that made things worse. Well, no goin back now i suppose. So she likes me, as you all now know. That shld give most of you a clue as to who she is, doesnt it? To be frank, it gives a guy great pride to know that a girl is crushng on him. Most guys should agree with me.





It is, however, a totally different story with monster. Now, i wouldnt give someone a nickname like monster if i wasnt to fond of their personality. Nope, this has to do with her looks. Superficial? Maybe. Do I regret sayin it? Hell no. Cos this girl is a lil on the heavy side, and dats juz bein polite. She totally takes the pride out of the idea of a girl liking a guy. Hell, monster is upsettin da balance in this world. No wonder there are so many god damned problems evrywhere. Damn girl, do us all a favour and set things rite. And we all blame global warming........





Shit, I'm digressing. Back to the matter at hand. So, this girl/monster likes me. As if it weren't enough that I have to prevent her from confessing, I'm also gettin made fun of from all directions. Fuck ya'll. Haha.





But you see, the reason why I'm here to offend her, is not cos she likes me, but rather what she has done. Where do I start? Oh yes, with her flings.



Yes people, there are more than 1. Hell I thought one would have been good enough considering her. But no. And the way she talks about it, its a s if this girl thinks she's megan fox. The idiot who even put that thought into her mind should be stoned. Haha. Well thats a lil harsh. No, they should just be made fun off as well. So based on my knowledge, she's gone after four guys(including me), had one ex boyfriend whom she would so love to kill right now, and to top it all off: a guy who is tryna woo her. Most of my friends arent even that lucky. You know, I have always wondered what this world has come to. I mean thin ass, anorexic girls are a huge turn off. Those bxtch are spreadin the wrong message. But that don't make a fat ass like her Heidi Klum. I mean come on..........





Well guys, its time for a break. Stay tuned for part two.



Adios muchachos!

Rantings of a Jew.....

Well peeps, this is my first post. Ok, i think i'm startin to sound boring. Fuck it. Okay, What's happenin peeps, or in hansel's terms,"SUP!!!". Hw's everyone doin? Ya'll busy? Well, if you are, then make sure u make time to laugh. Cos if u dont, u will probably end up lookin really, REALLY FUGLY!(Fucking Ugly for those who do not understand).

For eg, if u were a guy, excessive amounts of stress would end up in you looking like this:



And for the ladies, excessive amounts of stress would most certainly have you looking like this:


(Oh, this is vivian btw.....)


Okay on to other things. As u all know, this is my first blog. It also my first post of my first blog.Also it is the first joke of the first post of my first post. Alot of firsts huh?

So, I understand that you people are here for a reason. U guys and ladies are not here to read about my life and wat i did today. Hell, even i would not wanna read shit like that.

And i'm damn sure you guys aint here to read shit like this as well: Today I woke up at 7am. I went to brush my teeth. Then i showered. Then I had breakfast. Blah blah blah. Nobody wants to hear that. I nearly fell asleep writing those few sentences. So we've established that.

Well then, you guys must be here for some funny shit. To read and even watch people get made fun of. And it gets better when its people you actually know right? Of course. But hey, dont laugh juz yet, you just might have your name here one day.

Anyways, I will try to my best to keep you guys entertained. I swear I will. Juz keep on readin folks!

So before I bore you people, I'm gonna head out. But before I leave, lemme just leave you with something that hopefully makes you laugh. Watch this video, its some ffunny shit! Its the fourth video on the right.


Adios muchachos!